The Fourth Time
by Hisa-Ai
Summary: Merlin finds his way to Gwaine's bed four times, and each time is different than the last.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Merlin. Not in the slightest.

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**Title: **

_The Fourth Time_

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**Fic:**

The first time Merlin finds his way to Gwaine's bed, Gwaine, foolishly, allows himself to believe that there might be something to it.

He thinks that the way Merlin curls under him, panting and whimpering, moaning with every thrust, with every stroke, might mean there are to be repeat performances. That the needy, desperate, rough kisses Merlin steals from him, presses along his collarbone, his jawline, might mean he feels something for Gwaine that might resemble what Gwaine feels for him.

He just thinks, naively, that when _Merlin_ sleeps with you, it means more than the usual hook-up does.

So the morning after, when Merlin shirks out of his touch, avoids his kisses, shakes his head and apologizes, throws his clothes on and rushes out the door, Gwaine is left to stare after him, confused and slightly heartbroken.

~!~!~!~

The second time Merlin finds his way to Gwaine's bed, Gwaine is more hesitant, but eases into Merlin's urging kisses, touches lingering and gentle and so very _Merlin_ that all his resistance melts away and oh God, does he _want_ everything that Merlin will give him and more.

He gives in and forgets the pain that followed the last time and allows Merlin to fuck him, vulnerable and passionate and desperate under his thrusts, strokes erratic and so _un_-Merlin that Gwaine comes quickly and unapologetically.

He swears Merlin chuckles, breathless in a different sort of way, but then he's thrusting harder and deeper and Gwaine is whimpering his name like he's never done before and what is dignity, anyway, when Merlin is so good at making Gwaine melt the way _he_ normally makes hand-maidens melt?

Gwaine is too spent afterwards to think about what the morning will bring, so he lets his eyes slip shut with one arm wrapped around Merlin, almost hoping that morning never quite comes.

But it does.

And _when_ it does and Gwaine's bed is empty, save for a piece of parchment on the pillow next to him with the single word 'sorry' written on it in Merlin's rushed hand, he allows himself the moment of disappointment and heartache before rolling back over, deciding to give himself the morning to lick his wounds before facing Merlin or anyone else.

~!~!~!~

The third time Merlin finds his way to Gwaine's bed, Gwaine knows _exactly_ what to expect, knows that the night will be all pleasure and passion and some of the best sex he's ever had in his life, but the morning after will be pain and heartache, but _oh_, when he's pressing sweet kisses to the back of Merlin's neck and thrusting into him, he doesn't _care_.

And then he's stroking Merlin, his pace quickening as he nears his own orgasm, and his eyes are about to roll back in his head, his free hand tracing up and down Merlin's creamy body, nibbling and kissing his bare skin and _God_, could this moment just last forever?

It can't, of course.

Gwaine comes, Merlin's name spilling from his lips. And then Merlin is coming, his body tensing under Gwaine, and the moment when Merlin cries his name in pleasure has been the sweetest thing Gwaine has heard these last two times they were like this, so he's sure the third time will be just as amazing...

But it's not Gwaine's name he's crying out, the tone rough with a desire and pleasure that makes Gwaine's chest ache when he realizes that it's _Arthur_ Merlin is thinking of when they're like this, it's _Arthur_ that Merlin wants to be with, not Gwaine.

So when Merlin doesn't even stay the night, Gwaine understands.

He sees the embarrassed, ashamed look on his face as he scrambles into his clothes, sorry and shy and needing to _get away, _and he tries not to let it bother him, but of course it does.

When the door closes behind him, Gwaine just falls into bed, accepting but still a little hurt as he drifts off to an uneasy sleep.

~!~!~!~

Gwaine isn't stupid. He's seen the way Arthur and Merlin look at each other, the way they talk to each other, the way they just _are_ when they're around each other. You would have to be blind _and_ stupid not to see the attraction between the two, not to see the sexual frustration and tension.

Gwaine had thought, though, that it was just… just the urge to work off some steam, some of the stress that the sort of relationship Merlin and Arthur had was bound to build up…

But, after the night when Merlin says Arthur's name during sex...

Well, he starts to wonder if it isn't something _more._

~!~!~!~

The fourth time Merlin finds his way to Gwaine's bed, Gwaine sends him away after the first pleading kiss. Merlin, God bless his soul, nods his understanding, apologizes even, and then leaves in a rush before Gwaine can change his mind.

Gwaine spends that night with Percival after Merlin leaves, and it's _raw_ and something different from what he had with Merlin, and he could almost see himself doing it out of something like _love_ instead of need and pain one day.

But he isn't too sure yet.

**Fin.**


End file.
